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雅思9分作文

　　雅思9分作文：

　　題目：

　　Itis right that college graduates earn higher salaries than the lesswell-educated in the community. But they should also pay the full cost of theirstudy. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

　　原文：

　　Some conclude that college students shouldbear expenses for their higher learning on the generalization that collegegraduates usually receive higher salaries for similar jobs than those without acollege degree. We can not deny that higher level of education, indeed, doesassociate with better income. Still, build on such fact alone, the conclusionremains questionable when more aspects are taken into consideration.

　　The whole argument in question rests on anassumption that it is always the case that people with higher education makemore money than those less well-educated. But salary or income is, in mostcases, based on contributions made by employees to companies or organizationsin which they are employed. Statistics in the labor market indicate that peoplewith professional training tend to find jobs easier than college graduates doand that blue-collar workers who do not hold college degrees are becoming thehotties in the labor market. Employers prefer to hire and pay more to highlyskilled and specially trained people rather than fresh college graduates. Inthe auto industry, for instance, skilled technicians make two or three timesmore than their college-educated counterparts who make the average salaries inother companies. And it is widely accepted that people’s income is determinedmore by talent, hard work, and willingness to take risks than solely by certainqualifications such as college education. Otherwise, the unemployment rate ofcollege graduates would not be increasing every year and the rule of supply anddemand will lose much of power in controlling the labor market. Admittedly insome knowledge extensive fields such as research, teaching, and practice of lawthe labor force are primarily consisted of highly educated professionals. Butsuch people make up only a fraction of the labor market and are thusunrepresentative of the whole employment in general.

　　Considering the goal of education, we findthat it is even more problematic for the country to throw all theresponsibility of financing college education to college students. The goal ofhigher education of a nation is to improve and strengthen the general level ofintellectual and professional capacity of its labor force, thereby increasingthe competency of the nation in the global economy. As tax payers, parents allcontributes to the education system and country in various ways. It is onlyreasonable and necessary that the country gives some forms of financiallyassistance to students to ease the burden of rising education costs. Such helpshould go to not only students from needy or impoverished families but alsooutstanding students from affluent backgrounds. Doing so can significantlyboost the motivation of children from millions of families to engage in higherlevel of study. It is understandable that the general quality of people in acountry will improve and its economy will benefit both now and in years tofollow.

　　If the burden of supporting children’shigher education is dumped on parents and students, thousands of brilliantstudents will be deprived of chances to pursue their academic inspiration.Among those who suffer would definitely be future great scientists, businessmanagers, artists and statesmen. The loss will be disastrous and irreversible.

　　In conclusion, the idea that studentsshould also pay the full cost of their study is wrong and harmful because it iswrong to assume that higher education necessarily equalize high income.Moreover, it is in the best interest of a nation to take responsibility infinancing college education so that the goal of higher education will be bettermet.

　　1)審題

　　It is right that college graduates earnhigher salaries than the less well-educated in the community. But they shouldalso pay the full cost of their study. Do you agree or disagree with thisstatement?

　　A.背景：畢業(yè)生確實比沒受過良好教育的人的高，但是，他們應該全額支付自己的學費。

　　B.任務：你是否同意上述觀點。

　　C.題型：Agree/Disagree題型

　　D.全文結(jié)構：

　　引言段：一句改寫式扣題，另一句承上啟下。

　　正文段：寫兩或三段，給出兩個或三個理由。

　　結(jié)論段：一兩句呼應主題，另一兩句升華論述。

　　2)各段評價

　　(1) 引言段

　　Some conclude that college students shouldbear expenses for their higher learning on the generalization that collegegraduates usually receive higher salaries for similar jobs than those without acollege degree. We can not deny that higher level of education, indeed, doesassociate with better income. Still, build on such fact alone, the conclusionremains questionable when more aspects are taken into consideration.

　　A.用詞特點

　　·Some conclude：conclude的意思是“斷言”，不是“結(jié)論”。

　　·on the generalization that等于onthe basis that或onthe ground that或because，是一個很地道的書面語用詞。

　　B句式特點

　　·比較下列兩句：

　　It is right that college graduates earnhigher salaries than the less well-educated in the community. But they shouldalso pay the full cost of their study.

　　Some conclude that college students shouldbear expenses for their higher learning on the generalization that collegegraduates usually receive higher salaries for similar jobs than those without acollege degree.

　　前一句是題目里的背景句子，后一句是作者引言段里的句。后一句是對前一句的改寫。這告訴大家一個鐵定的寫作技巧：

　　寫引言段時，一定要用自己的話改寫題目中的背景句子，不要抄寫題目中的原句，否則會被判零分。

　　·Still, build on such fact alone, theconclusion remains questionable when more aspects are taken into consideration：buildon such fact alone等于ifthe conclusion is based on such fact alone。英語中規(guī)定，如果if引導的句子里的主語與主句的主語一樣，那么，可以把從句里的主語省略，將從句改為分詞結(jié)構作狀語。這叫分詞結(jié)構代替常規(guī)的狀語從句。其他例如：

　　When the exercise is finished, it should behanded in. (劃線部分是相同的主語)

　　↓

　　When the exercise is finished, it should behanded in.

　　↓

　　去掉被重復的主語

　　↓

　　When is finished, it should be handedin.

　　↓

　　When 是連詞，

　　其后不能直接

　　跟be的原形，改為：

　　When being finished, it should be handedin.

　　↓

　　Being可以省略，

　　得到：

　　When finished, it should be handed in.

　　C.“結(jié)構”、“任務”、“思路”

　　·Still, build on such fact alone, theconclusion remains questionable when more aspects are taken into consideration：本句是一個承上啟下的句子。妙的是：作者沒有I doubt、 I challenge、Ido not agree這樣的字眼，而是用了一個remainsquestionable(值得質(zhì)疑)這樣的詞，表明了作者對主題的態(tài)度。由此，我們完全可以預測，作者反對“畢業(yè)生確實比沒受過良好教育的人的高，但是，他們應該全額支付自己的學費”這個觀點，并將在后續(xù)的論述中提出自己的論據(jù)。這是一種十分高明的方法，是地道的書面語，明顯有別與中國同學常用的I do not agree這樣的幼稚詞語。

　　D.全段總評

　　·句式緊湊、;立場明確，承上啟下做得好。

　　(2) 正文各段

　　正文段

　　The whole argument in question rests on anassumption that it is always the case that people with higher education makemore money than those less well-educated. But salary or income is, in mostcases, based on contributions made by employees to companies or organizationsin which they are employed. Statistics in the labor market indicate that peoplewith professional training tend to find jobs easier than college graduates doand that blue-collar workers who do not hold college degrees are becoming thehotties in the labor market. Employers prefer to hire and pay more to highlyskilled and specially trained people rather than fresh college graduates. Inthe auto industry, for instance, skilled technicians make two or three timesmore than their college-educated counterparts who make the average salaries inother companies. And it is widely accepted that people’s income is determinedmore by talent, hard work, and willingness to take risks than solely by certainqualifications such as college education. Otherwise, the unemployment rate ofcollege graduates would not be increasing every year and the rule of supply anddemand will lose much of power in controlling the labor market. Admittedly insome knowledge extensive fields such as research, teaching, and practice of lawthe labor force are primarily consisted of highly educated professionals. Butsuch people make up only a fraction of the labor market and are thusunrepresentative of the whole employment in general.

　　A.用詞特點

　　·in question等于indiscussion。

　　·rests on等于isbased on。

　　·companies or organizations是同義詞疊用。

　　B.句式特點

　　·…rests on an assumption that it is alwaysthe case that people with higher education make more money than those lesswell-educated：本句里，個that是assumption的同位語;第二個that引導的是case的同位語。

　　·But salary or income is, in most cases,based on contributions made by employees to companies or organizations in whichthey are employed：inmost cases是插入語。made by employeesto companies or organizations是簡化了的定語從句，等于whichare made by。為什么要簡化呢?因為后邊還有一個完整的定語從句。如果兩個都寫成完整的定語從句，就重復了，而重復是英語所厭惡的。

　　·Statistics in the labor market indicatethat…：這是用例子佐證作者觀點的一種寫法，簡單實用。

　　·…it is widely accepted that…是表達個人觀點的客觀句式。

　　C.“結(jié)構”、“任務”、“思路”

　　·本段，作者采取主題句+例證+議論“思路”，很好地表明了作者在引言段里對“畢業(yè)生確實比沒受過良好教育的人的高，但是，他們應該全額支付自己的學費”的置疑(challenge)

　　D.全段總評

　　·用詞地道、句式多變、思路清晰、佐證充分。

　　剩下段落的解析，請大家移步【閱讀原文】

走進培森

杭州培森教育咨詢有限公司是杭州一家專業(yè)出國類英語培訓，其特色課程有：雅思、新托福、GRE/GMAT、新SAT/ACT、考研英語等，多年來一直致力于教育培訓事業(yè)，引入國外先進的教學方法和理念，憑借多年的教學經(jīng)驗與教學研究，在教材研發(fā)、教學管理、學習控制、學習過程跟蹤及學習行為矯正等各個學習環(huán)節(jié)已經(jīng)形成了一整套切實可行的教學方案。 

長期以來，培森教育一直致力于出國外語培訓及語言學習產(chǎn)品研發(fā)，與此同時，利用其豐富的教育資源及與國外學術間的良好關系，積極推動中國教育和文化界與的合作與交流。杭州培森教育總部位于杭州市中心武林商圈，由教育及專業(yè)管理團隊聯(lián)合海內(nèi)外的精英組創(chuàng)。

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